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How to Be a More Relational Blogger [Tips for New and Established Bloggers]

Posted By Darren Rowse 26th of January 2010 Miscellaneous Blog Tips 0 Comments

In this post (a continuation of my Principles of Successful Blogs) series I explore the topic of being relational with readers.

relational.png Back in 2002 when I stumbled upon my first ever blog I was immediately inspired to start my own blog based on two things that I witnessed in that first blog.

  1. It gave the blogger a voice and amplified that voice around the world
  2. It gave the blogger the ability to build a community around what he was exploring and enabled him to have personal (yet public) interactions with many people to further explore his topics.

The community and relational aspect of that first blog was a big part of why I decided to start my own first blog. I’d not seen anything on the web that allowed a person to grow a community around their ideas before and wanted to experience it for myself.

So I started my first blog – a personal blog about life, spirituality and culture – and began to experiment with my voice but also with engaging with those who read what I was writing each day.

I quickly discovered the power of building a blog that not only had interesting content but which drew readers into a conversation.

In those early days I spent at least as much time building relationships with readers as I did writing posts (I’ll share some of what I did early in my blog below).

As I look back on the early days of my own blogging I’d attribute a significant part of the early growth of my blogs to this type of relational activity. Content might be King but community was its Queen for me.

Things have Changed…. But….

Of course the blogosphere and wider web has changed somewhat since those days in 2002.

  • Twitter and Facebook have emerged to take over some of the community interactions that blogs once had
  • Social media is also a space where much of the sharing of links we once did on blogs happens
  • Blogging has become quite competitive and bloggers in niches don’t always work together

Things have changed – however…. a relational approach and community are still one central aspect of many successful blogs.

Note: I’m not just talking about building your blog into a community (we discussed community earlier in our series) – instead what I’m talking about in this post is being relational with your readers – the blogger/reader relationship and not necessarily relationships between your readers.

So how does a blogger grow relationships with their readers? I’d actually like to tackle this question by making some suggestions for newer/smaller blogs and then for more established blogs where the challenge of scaling a relational approach is a challenge.

How to Be a Relational Blogger – For New Blogs

When starting out with a new blog there are many tasks that will confront you. Creating great content is of course your primary concern, getting your blog looking attractive and inviting is also important, thinking about branding, networking with other blogs in your niche, setting up with some good SEO…. the list of things you could fill your time with goes on.

However putting some concerted effort into building relationship with those who do come to your blog is something well worth putting time into. If you can build a loyal group of regular readers in your early days you’re well on the way to growing a blog that is read by many. Each loyal reader you have has their own network that they can spread word of you to.

Following are some of the things I spent a lot of time doing in the early days of my own first blogs:

  • Reading and responding to every comment left – particularly any with questions
  • Visiting the blogs of those who were leaving comments and interacting with those bloggers on their own blogs
  • Engaging on other blogs that were linking to mine
  • Emailing new readers to thank them for commenting
  • Linking to other blogs in my niche – promoting those who were reading my blog
  • Responding to email queries

These types of activities are very basic yet they have an impact and will draw those who read your blog in the early days to take a second look and come back again.

Tips for Established Blogs Trying to Scale Rationality

The above basics for newer blogs do work – but when your blog starts to grow the challenge for bloggers is to how to stay relational in their approach without burning themselves out. You see responding to every comment left on your blog becomes incredibly challenging when you have hundreds of comments left each day. Personal and in depth responses to every email from a reader takes over your whole day when you have tens of thousands of readers…. Scaling relationally is definitely a challenge.

So what’s a blogger to do?

I actually grapple with this one on a daily basis and would love to hear how other bloggers approach the challenge however thought I’d jot down some starting points (it should also be noted that much of this can be put into practice by new blogs too):

1. Write in a Relational Voice

One of the things that can help is to simply write in a relational or conversational style. Tell your own story, share your experiences, write about your failures, be personal. While you might not be able to respond to every reader personally all of these things make you more relatable.

2. Invite Participation

One part of writing in a relational style is to invite interaction with readers. Asking questions of readers and giving spaces in posts for discussion and interaction may not be fully relational if you yourself don’t participate – but it at least opens up opportunities for readers to interact with one another and get a feeling of being heard and valued as a reader.

3. Set Up Opportunities for Intentional Interaction

Another strategy that I find a win/win for bloggers and their readers is to set up specific times and places for interaction between blogger and reader. Put aside time for this intentional community time, publicise them with readers and then make yourself available to interact.

For me one of the ways that I try to do this every now and again is by doing a live Ustreaming video session where I simply do Q&A with readers. I’m amazed at the response from readers who join these chats – while I do feel a little ‘odd’ sitting there talking to my laptop answering basic questions about blogging readers really do seem to value the times and feel much more involved.

Note: Another way that I try to give readers another avenue for interaction is by promoting Twitter as a place for conversation. The key is to name where and when you’re going to interact and then make sure you do.

4. Answer Reader Questions with Posts

A further technique I try to do is to try to answer questions from readers with posts rather than just in comments or via email. When I get a reader asking a question I could respond with an email or comment and help that particular reader – but to maximise the benefits across the full community I try to take some questions and turn my responses into a more public answer in a post – thereby answering the person but also hopefully sharing some solutions with others who might have the same question. I find that the added bonus of this is that you highlight a reader interaction publicly which shows that while I might not respond to everyone that you are attempting to be interactive.

5. Manage Expectations

Without going over the top and becoming boastful or arrogant – try to communicate with your readership what they can expect from you as a blogger. Readers all come with their own expectations of what they should and shouldn’t be able to expect from you as a blogger. The emails I get from readers at times illustrate that some readers come with pretty good expectations while others come with unrealistic ones.

Side Note: interestingly these unrealistic expectations can swing both ways. For example today I had one email from a reader demanding I answer a list of 20 questions for them while another reader emailed saying that they didn’t really expect I’d even read their email and didn’t expect any kind of acknowledgment of their problem. The reality is somewhere between the two emails – I can’t give readers hours of my attention each – but I do read emails and try to respond to as many as I can.

One way to manage expectations is to have a system in place around your contact form. Communicating what you’re able to help with, whether you are able to respond personally etc on a contact form helps readers to gauge what sort of response (if any) they’ll get. Some bloggers also put systems in place to send auto response emails back when contact is made to help with this.

6. Build Community

Another way to help readers get help from your blog is to set up systems and areas on your blog where people can help one another. This is one of the reasons that both ProBlogger and Digital Photography School have community areas. The hope is that while I can’t possibly respond to every reader that there is always someone in the wider community that does have the expertise and resources to help. I also find that in time as a blog grows that this reader interaction between readers extends naturally into a comments section – a larger blog tends to have readers who love to help one another.

7. Get Help – Outsource

One of the hardest things I’ve done in the last couple of years is to get help to manage this aspect of my blogging. Outsourcing community is not something I ever wanted to do but getting help from someone to assist in the moderation of comments was actually something that helped me to be more responsive to readers. If you do end up hiring someone to help with moderation try to get them to alert you to threads of conversations that need your attention rather than just hiring someone to delete spam.

How do You Do It?

As I say above – I’m no expert in being a relational blogger. It’s one aspect of what I do that I do grapple with and have good days and bad days with. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you approach being a relational blogger and what impact it’s had on your blogging.

PS: One last bonus tip – Stay True to Yourself and Your Personality

I say this because as people we all have different styles and personalities that will leave us able to interact with readers differently. I’ve been critiqued a few times over the years about not being interactive enough with readers but in the last 12 months or so have also come to realise that my approach in this area is not just about being too busy to interact but that it is partly about who I am as a person.

As a pretty extreme introvert I do enjoy personal interaction but also find that I’m not able to sustain as much of it as some others who are more extroverted and get energy from such interactions.

Those of you who’ve met me will know that I’m actually someone who tends to sit at the edge of groups watching and listening more than those who might enjoy being the life of the party. While I do enjoy conversation I’m someone who is a little slower paced and more laid back and who enjoys chiming in from time to time with my insights and thoughts – but who also enjoys listening.

On the flip side of this I know that one impact of being this type of person is that I can come across as being a little uninterested in those around me – it’s something I do have to work on (I could quite easily retreat to my introverts cave and never come out for weeks at a time). So for me it’s about being true to myself and not forcing myself to be the extrovert but also knowing that my introversion can also be an excuse and something that limits me.

About Darren Rowse
Darren Rowse is the founder and editor of ProBlogger Blog Tips and Digital Photography School. Learn more about him here and connect with him on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.
Comments
  1. I find keeping up with my community to be the biggest challenge. When I first began blogging, keeping up with the comments wasn’t much of a problem. As the blog grew, responding to each and every comment wasn’t so easy – and sometimes I sounded redundant, saying the same thing to each commenter. But, as I began responding less to comments, people began comment less. I’m working harder now at building that up.

    My other challenge is responding to the 1000 plus emails I get each day. Like you, I receive plenty of long requests and they’re not easy to respond to right away. If I put them aside for later, they run the risk of being buried.

    I think the most important thing is to make it about relationships. If the tone is conversational and not preachy, if readers are encouraged to interact and if the subject matter is interesting and thought provoking, the trust builds and the relationships happen.

  2. Awesome post Darren. The problem I have is managing Twitter/Facebook/Blogs. It can be pretty overwhelming with the three. It seems the consensus is that you HAVE to have all three. The way Twitter runs, questions seem to get missed.

  3. ahh yes. Community – that is where it is at. Where a blog has a life of it’s own and extend beyond the person that created it. Not always easy to convince people to be involved, but then again you can;t convince – you just have to be relational.
    I am trying to achieve this on my blog, but I think it take time and consistency.
    Thanks for the post, it’s close to my goals as a blogger – woot :)

  4. Daren,

    Nice! Loved the ‘Stay True to Yourself and Your Personality’ tip. I did not realize your introvert & sitting & listening & watching side of your personality. Did not realize it till I read it.
    @JeanD99

  5. This couldn’t be more timely for me. Having destroyed my first blog accidentally (and in the process learning the importance of backing up your files regularly), I just started a new blog with a better focus, and building community is a huge priority for me, as well as building content (2 new posts already today) and it’s only 6:00am here. I answer every email, and respond to every comment. My blog is still small enough to do that, but I like the idea of answering questions with a post, and I shall implement that idea forthwith. It’s good to be a blogger…especially if you’re of the aspiring pro sort.

    Ray

  6. Thanks for the tips. We have been following your advice on blogging. I think we have touched on every one of your 7 points in some way or another. We need to build more community (number 6) and we moderate our own comments (number 7).

    Based on your articles and others we have had consistent growth. Our growth has not been explosive but I believe our visitors are truly interested in our content and not just breezing past.

    Thanks for what you do

  7. Thank you on these advices!
    I will keep in mind your advice about establishing a relationships.
    If I can sum up I would say that establishing a good relationships is the most important thing we need to focus.

  8. Those tips that you give:

    * Reading and responding to every comment left – particularly any with questions
    * Visiting the blogs of those who were leaving comments and interacting with those bloggers on their own blogs
    * Engaging on other blogs that were linking to mine
    * Emailing new readers to thank them for commenting
    * Linking to other blogs in my niche – promoting those who were reading my blog
    * Responding to email queries

    Are SOOOO important for new bloggers. I can’t stress that enough. I was lucky that I had the whole summer to devote a couple of hours a day building up my readership by following those rules and it took a LONG time. Since my blog is still newish (under a year old), I need to keep doing that and it’s not easy all the time with a full time job and part time studies but I find if I don’t, my readership falls. Of course, I have my regular readers but in terms of growing the blog, it’s a neverending process for a while. When people complain to me that they don’t have many comments/ readers, I know that it’s most likely because they don’t comment on many blogs, don’t respond to comments and don’t engage their readers.

    This was a great article and a good reminder for any newly established blogger!

  9. Nice………..
    Replying to Reader’s query increases the Conversation.. Which should be in every blog post.. So that, it can get attracted.. At one of my post i have written about “Disabling Auto restart in Windows XP”.. Lot of people had asked about BSOD in that post through comments & i have solved their Questions.. It increased my visitors..

  10. Wohhh you nailed this pose Dareen especially for beginners like me .Thanks for all your tips for building relationship.

  11. Really nice post Darren. Especially for beginners like me, hope you keep up with these posts.

    http://www.dumblittleblogger.com/

  12. Not always easy to convince people to be involved, but then again you can;t convince – you just have to be relational.

  13. Darren –

    Sage advice! A blog can be a remarkable relationship building tool as it provides the perfect place for all of us to further extend and deepen connections made on social networks.

    For example, sometimes it is difficult to convey the full value of a piece content that you want to share with your online community in a 140 character tweet. However, that tweet could be the perfect invitation to a much broader conversation happening over at your blog.

    These 7 tips and your bonus will help anyone with the desire to build their personal brand and foster relationships to do so in a very effective manner. This is essential for both newer bloggers and experiences bloggers alike.

    Excellent post!

    James

  14. haha, if those with multiple personalities start blogging, the readers will get so blur trying to read into the writings of so many personalities in a person. That will be an interesting study for students of psychology.

  15. Hi Darren,

    This is some very sound advice… I have one other thing to add for when growth starts to happen and that feeling of being overwhelmed kicks in.

    When our Exploring Uruguay website and blog took off, we were starting to get bombarded with so many contact forms we could barely keep up… A few got lost in the cracks… What we noticed was a lot of the emails were the same questions or questions we didn’t have the answers to.

    We decided to start a forum which we stay actively involved in. We now get 1/10th of the emails we were getting, which is much more manageable. Not to mention our forum is developing into a little community of its own.

    We use a paid forum platform but I know phpBB is a free platform for those who are considering the forum route.

  16. Relationships are the timeless, tested truth for many aspects of life. However, in the online business, and blogging, world – relationships bring more success than blind advertising and anonymous blogging.

    One of the best pieces of advice any blogger could ever hear. Great post!

  17. Some good advice in there Darren. Like you, I’m a bit of an introvert so I can relate to what you’re saying (though I’ve recently come under the influence of the Infopreneur, so I’m learning to step out of my comfort zone a little).

    I think it’s important that readers feel welcome and listened to on your site, which can be harder for people like us to maintain because of our hermit-reflexes. Still well worth the effort though, with you on that one. :)

  18. To me, building a community and inviting participation seem to be the most powerful techniques to getting a blog built. I’ve found that those should be in the second phase of growing your blog. Then you can start to focus on money.

  19. Really a nice post Darren. Recently my blog is getting so many comments, that I’m unable to reply them to all. I am already doing some of the points mentioned by you, like publishing a new post to answer a specifc quetion while solving many similar questions that haven’t yet been raised. I was thinking over other points mentioned by you too, like starting a community….but donno being a student if I can handle a complete community all alone :-/

  20. You’re right, you can’t spend hours on one reader, knowing how much to give back without feeling guilty that you didn’t respond to all comments/emails is a tough obstacle.

    thanks for your insight.

  21. This is great information. I am kind of at the cusp of keeping readers interested and gaining more or in a sense turning them off. I have just recently really found my true voice as well as niche and trying to fine tune that. This post came at exactly the right time for me.

  22. Hey Darren,

    The most important aspect of being a relational blogger is to be yourself.

    It seems like it’s too simple. But the truth in life is always simple.

    Like you stated, you can’t keep up something that’s not natural for you. If you’re an extrovert, then you can’t fake a “hidden/mysterious” persona – keep getting out there and talking and interacting.

    For introverts, don’t try to be the social butterfly. Relate through the method you mentioned: the voice in your creation.

    Many music artists are famous for this. Mysterious, a distance. But you can still get to know them during their shows (your Ustreams), their songs (your articles), and their interviews (um, your interviews).

    Be relational by being yourself,
    Oleg

  23. Being relational is what makes a blog successful without a doubt. Blogging is totally about staying engaged with your readers. Great post Darren!

    take care mate

  24. I’ve found that those should be in the second phase of growing your blog. Then you can start to focus on m

  25. CaveDweller says: 01/26/2010 at 5:54 am

    Thank you for this article, all of the information was great but the last few paragraphs were just what I needed. I have been wanting to start a blog, mainly for personal use but with the notion that it could become a niche blog in time, but have been holding back because of my introverted nature.

    I struggle with that regularly, even with my personal Twitter account just because I am a natural observer rather than participant and it sometimes feels just plain weird.

    I was on the verge of heading back to my cave permanently. Then came along your affirmation that introverts CAN blog successfully without forcing themselves to be something they’re not. I will give it a shot and see what happens. Thanks again!

  26. Lately I have been trying to be more of a relational blogger. I try to evoke my audience, spark their interest, and get them reading and wanting more. It’s tough to do; we just have two hands, our mind, and a keyboard, but the power of language can be potentially infinite.

  27. Thanks Darren – You don’t think that replying to comments (when they don’t have a question) is too “stalk-ish”? Just curious because I would love to, and right now have the time to reply to all comments but I started to feel funny about it because I wasn’t sure if readers anticipate this or just wanted to voice something at the time. Love hearing your advice! – Trisha

  28. I think a lot of people have forgotten that the real reason behind blogging is for ordinary people to share information and interact. That’s what most “normal” people who surf the web are out here to do. We get so focused on design, writing great content, SEO, etc., that we forget that a big part of blogging is the community.

    Definitely the basic things like responding to comments and interacting with readers are keys to success…but so many people forget them.

    I’ve noticed that in an attempt to be professional, a lot of bloggers write very stiff; almost like a lawyer. While you don’t want to (pulling a page from a guest post on here) look like a bumpkin’ banging words onto a page, writing in a conversational tone that people can relate to helps a lot.

    A lot of people expect comments but don’t ask for them. Inviting people to comment of course helps this.

    One of the biggest things that I’ve found is answering comments with posts. Not only does it give you an idea to write about, but it helps your audience who may be having a similar question, and certainly the person who’s question you answered will be more likely to come back.

    It is hard to manage expectations; especially since we don’t want to let anyone down. A good strategy is to set out a block of time for responding each day and then budget accordingly to how long on each endeavor. Of course, it will not help to rush and send off a bad response just to get to everyone.

    What I do personally is mainly what you said, as well as critiques for writing, as my blog covers reading and writing in the genre of action/adventure.

    Building community definitely builds many loyal readers.

  29. Great ideas. I really agree with you in the sense that we really need to connect with our bloggers. I really think this will add to our usefulness as a blogger and will keep people coming back. Thanks for the great post.

  30. Darren,

    A blog is like a huge magnifying class because it shows the whole world who you are. You don’t have to get too personal but showing the real you is important.

    Be you and at the same time learn to interact as best you can. Your blog is not perfect and is never going to be. It’s your blog though. It’s special in its own way. Let that show and use what you know to shine that across the board.

    This is my take on it.

  31. Elizabeth Ormiston says: 01/26/2010 at 9:43 am

    My search for blogger engagement brought me to your site (nicely done). I am actually trying to educate myself on how to engage bloggers about products, services, etc. (If you or any readers have a good post, please share.) Interesting to read your views about from the blogger side. I particularly like your idea of answering questions with posts. What I find most intriguing (and just by looking at the comments here and on other posts), it seems that many who comment are loyal to certain bloggers and a solid extension of the relationship.

    My educational reading continues… in the mean time, this is a post written by a friend who seeks to build relationships with the blogger community.

    PS-I like the style in which you write… very honest.

  32. Great article, the hardest part of being a blogger is promoting your blog and getting visitors to come back again and again, hopefully some of your tips will help me
    Cheers

  33. Some very good tips, and there is no doubt that we need to build relationship with our blog readers in order to become a successful blogger.

  34. What a fantastic post, glad I read this! I noticed lately that my readership and my comments go up when I (wait for it…) read and comment on other blogs.

    Absolutely amazing how that works.

    So while I blog because I must either write or explode, I do enjoy this creation of community that happens with writing online, and I look forward to focusing more on it. Actually I read this post because I determined to get out there and make sure I’m reading all the blogs I follow! Good timing, you.

    Have an Extraordinary Day!

  35. This was a great post. I purchased your 31 day challenge and one of the first things I did with my blog was to start to build community. I love it! And honestly I do not think my blog or any blog for that matter would thrive without a community. However, it does take a lot of time and you can get really caught up in reading and commenting on other blogs. At least I know I can. Before I know it an hour goes by. SO i really try to manage my time. But I always respond to comments on my blog and visit all the people who comment.

    Thanks again for all of your useful info.

  36. Good article and great advice.

    Since I started my blog I’ve worked to keep a relational tone to what I write. I also try to interact with any readers that comment.

    Most of the techniques I’ve learned I picked up from ProBlogger actually. From asking questions to talking to my readers rather than at them.

    Great post again!

    Come check out my blog at JustPointandShoot.com!

  37. Darren,
    Thank you for the well articulated road map to relational blogging. My medical/dermatology blog is new and I appreciate the prompting to visit the blogs of folks who comment on my posts. I,m also going to find some way to facilitate intentional interaction with my readers in the future. Great advice.

  38. Great article, Darren! In my view, build more community is the most powerful techniques to getting a blog built.

  39. I often find it hard to relate to blogs about blogging because I write a dating tips blog and none seem to be geared towards me but this one hit the nail on the head.

    Thanks. And because I’ve been incorporating several of your tips, my readership and reader interaction has increased–which is such a lovely thing to see, “a new comment.” Responding to each one is a great joy, but finding balance is key for me because I also have facebook, youtube, and twitter. And comments fly in on those networks as well. So I can spend all day responding to comments and never get anything accomplished. That’s a task in itself.

    Wondering how others find balance when there are so many outlets that your readers want to connect with you on?

  40. But, the problem is that some bloggers do not have enough patience to see their progress growing slowly. Sometimes, they want (like me in the past) to have 2,000 users a day with just 150 posts and maybe 1 year online.

    It’s better when you are natural, real and with valuable content. People will come slowly, and if you keep doing all (or some) of this post’s advices, everything it gonna be OK.

    I stopped thinking just about money, and now is more important to build a community, and it’s even funnier.

    have a good day.

  41. Thanks for all of the advice. I am always interested in reading new ways to improve my blog.

  42. Darren

    New bloggers need to take your method from 2002, print it out and memorize it as that is the way to build your blog. Interacting with readers on your blog and on other blogs that you read builds your community. Not everyone will like you and that has to be accepted. As popularity grows and your time is stretched thinner making yourself available at times that work for you is always key. People want a pick your brain and feel like they know you by asking questions and trying to get closer to you. While it is a sign of success it is also a time consuming to be able to give each person the same attention.

    Commenting on comments from bloggers on your site and reaching out to their site pays off as you are now exposing yourself to their readers. I might add that for those blogs that do have a blog roll, check out who they are reading to expand upon the blogs that you read.

    A big factor for new bloggers and those who have been at it for a while is to remember that you started in 2002. 8 years ago. It takes time and a boat load of consistent postings to build a loyal audience. The emergence of the social media platforms have afforded bloggers exposure like never before but it still takes time. Patience while at the same time working harder than anyone else is some very sound advice for new bloggers.

    Happy Australia Day!

  43. Definitely the basic things like responding to comments and interacting with readers are keys to success…but so many people forget them.

  44. “PS: One last bonus tip – Stay True to Yourself and Your Personality”

    While I sincerely thank you for the advice, buddy, this has never worked for me.

    You see, I was born and raised to be an ass of all holes (kinda like a jack of all trades but much less able). People hate my personality, and I hate people, thus I desire as little visitors to my internet cave as possible.

    I took your advice, listened to my heart and told everyone to get lost, and yet people keep on coming! What the Frisbee is going on?

    I don’t even know why I keep coming back to you, Darwin.

  45. What I do personally is mainly what you said, as well as critiques for writing, as my blog covers reading and writing in the genre of action/adventure.

  46. Hi Darren,

    great post and great advice. I have only just started blogging in the last year and I am now really starting to understand it all from a readers and bloggers perspective. Sometimes it be hard on where you draw the line.

    However I do very much agree with the relational side of things. Thank you for the advice, very timely for me to take on board as I am finding every day my readership is growing.

    Kind Regards

    Jacinta :D
    (An Aussie mum trying to create a business online while her 2 year old sleeps! :))

  47. I was astonished by the results I got after I wrote my first post suggested by a reader. Some of my commenters didn’t even imagined they can suggest topics for me. It was almost funny. :-)

    One more thing I can add to this: extend your interaction in other media: Twitter, Facebook and so on. Or, as I use to say: your blog is beyond your blog.

  48. I have recently working on my new blog and your information is quite relevent for a new blogger. Every blogger should emphasize on content and should make nature friendly to interact with visitors. Great thinking

  49. Being myself is a full time job. I always try and communicate to my audience by answering what they want not what I want. That is hard to do.Respecting your feelings and emotions sometimes will get in the way but being yourself is more important.
    Traditional business is dead because they forgot who is important. Blogging lets you be you, in a win-win way.
    Thanks for being yourself Darren.
    PIerre
    Thee Quest

  50. Building community and responding to readers are very goood way to build a blog.

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