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5 Surefire Ways to Never Get Noticed by Anybody

This guest post is by Steve of thecodeofextraordinarychange.com.

I’m a quiet man. Shy in some circumstances. I like my own company and my own time.

Left unchecked, these qualities would be enough to ensure that I lived out the rest of my life as a small man in a tiresome job, never making a difference and never getting noticed by anybody.

But I can’t imagine a worse hell than that. Really, I can’t.

I know that I’ll never leave my fingerprints on the world unless I deliberately engage with it, and I’ll never put my dent in the universe unless I get out there and punch at the edges. You need to leave a trace; you need to affect the world; you need to be in the light.

Here’s how people spend their lives in the shadows without ever being noticed.

1. Don’t pay attention to what matters

The most unhappy people on the planet are those who don’t listen to and don’t pursue what matters to them most. They won’t have set out to be unhappy, they’ll simply have their lives eroded by the continual exclusion of what matters to them in preference of what they think they ought to be doing.

What matters to you is what counts.  What matters to you amounts to a hill o’ beans.  What matters to you is enough.

You always notice someone who honours, expresses and demonstrates the things that matter most to them.

2. Don’t stick your neck out

Raising your head above the parapet might just get you an arrow right in the kisser. So valuing your face, you decide to stay put, crouched behind the safety of the castle wall and safe from the vicious marauders.

Only thing is, there’s a whole world beyond those walls. A world that needs you to be a part of it and people who want to see you rise. Safety is too high a price to pay for dying a long, slow death.

You always notice someone who stands up when everyone else remains seated.

3. Don’t show any heart

Science and logic are good allies to have these days. Building a high-converting sales page, writing magnetic headlines and creating a solid business plan are all good things to do among many others, but if those things become your sole focus then you’ve already lost.

You become so focused on the cogs, levers and whirring wheels that you lose site of why you switched the contraption on in the first place. You’re so busy operating the machine that the difference it can make becomes forgotten.

You always notice someone who weaves heart, honesty and vulnerability and into their actions.

4. Don’t raise the stakes

There’s no prize for running the three meter sprint. You don’t get an award for writing a dirty limerick. There’s not much point in attempting the perilous trek across your back yard for charity.

The easy stuff is easy; any Tom, Dick, or Harriette can nail it without thinking too hard or risking much of anything. But if there’s nothing at stake for you personally then are you really in the game or just treading water and kidding yourself about the waves you’re making?

You always notice someone who’s willing to risk their world for what they believe.

5. Don’t innovate

When life gives you lemons, what do you do? Do you make lemonade, or do you complain that you really wanted to make a peach cobbler and that the large pile of lemons on your floor is just too yellow and lemony?

If lemonade isn’t your thing, make a lemon meringue pie. Make candied lemons. Make a to-scale model of the Taj Mahal out of the darn things if you want to. You don’t have to do what’s expected or what everyone else does. You can create something wild, unpredictable or unexpected from what you already have.

You always notice someone who builds something surprising from what’s right in front of them.

So. What’s your next move?

Steve is a superstar confidence coach who helps you build an extraordinary life. He also makes a fantastic ragu, and while he can’t promise you a batch he’ll promise to help you put your dent in the universe, which is probably a better deal.  Get more of him on Twitter and Facebook.

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Comments

  1. Robert says:

    I agree with the “don’t show any heart” statement. I love reading more personal stories, especially in my niche, and I find my most popular articles are the more personal ones.

    • Steve Errey says:

      Absolutely. Human’s love to have a connection to things so revealing something that allows for that connection to happen is wonderful.

  2. Ehsan says:

    Hi Steve, This is a wonderful article in interesting topic. I agree with the most unhappy people on the planet are those who don’t listen to and don’t pursue what matters to them most.

    Thanks for the article anyway.

  3. Romy singh says:

    Hello Steve,

    Great article.I’ve seen many people tries to get noticed by the world and they do many reckless things to get noticed but I’ve never seen anybody who tries to hide his existence. I know sometime not getting noticed is good thing like when we make mistakes, we don’t want anybody to notice us and on many other events.

    So thanks for sharing the story that sometime not getting noticed is good thing. And yeah if life gives me a lemon then I’ll make an lemonade and drink it, because i like to enjoy every little thing.

    Thanks for the article.
    Romy Singh,

    • Steve Errey says:

      Sure, sometimes it’s just fine to not get noticed ,and you don’t (and probably shouldn’t) need to get notice for everything you do. But if you’re trying to leave a mark, to inspire action or dent the universe then getting noticed can be essential.

  4. John Bonello says:

    Good blog post indeed. All points are valid. Though one should also look at the background of a person. If they were never challenged or pushed into challenges, they will never dare to take any risks and prefer to live their routine and “secure” life….

    • Steve Errey says:

      Good point – if you’re life is about staying safe and not pushing at the edges then this will be really hard. You can start with small, even tiny, steps first. A common misunderstanding is that getting out of your comfort zone needs to be some big, dramatic, life changing shift. Wrong, it can be more gentle and graceful than that.

  5. Jon Stone says:

    This is precisely why I took the plunge into the freelance field. It felt right. It was what I wanted to do, as opposed to what everyone said to do. It has been an interesting experience. But those that don’t take chances to pursue their dreams are missing out on the real experience.

    • Steve Errey says:

      It’s not always easy Jon, right?! There’s a cost to any course of action, with inaction perhaps having the highest cost.

  6. Aditya says:

    Haha sarcasm can surely raise a few brows and unknowingly urge people to do what they weren’t interested in earlier. Nice, thought-provoking article and I’ve checked out your site, it’s really nice and helpful to me. Thanks :)

  7. Steve Errey says:

    Thanks Ehsan, glad that rang true for you! Hope you’re out there doing what matters to you, in whatever measure.

  8. Hi Steve,

    Thanks for this, it’s very timely. My blog is starting to gain some traction, and I’ve been struggling with wanting to hang back, and not stand out from the crowd. Growing up, my parents taught me that it’s a bad thing to make yourself noticed and to attract attention, and it’s only now that I’m seeing how much that’s held me back through the years.

    It’s so much harder to break past those internal barriers than the external barriers!

    Thanks so much for the post. We hear so much about the nuts and bolts of building a successful business online, but it’s rare to hear anything about the personal, internal challenges.

    • Steve Errey says:

      Funny how so many of us are taught to blend in isn’t it? It’s a throw back to the ol’ days where blending in with others and the environment kept us safe from marauders or sabre-toothed tigers. Of course, times have changed but those instincts remain.

      I totally agree with you regarding the wealth of information about the nuts and bolts of building a business, but unless some of the internal shifts happen it’s all for naught.

      Thanks Micki.

  9. S.K. says:

    #5 is perhaps the most overlooked. Just because blogs were initially born as basic platforms for easy publishing of written work online, does not mean:

    1. They have to stay within these borders.

    2. That’s the only thing that matters about them. (If I hear anyone saying “content is king” again…)

    Test different designs, ad placements, writing styles, add one new plugin every week, get rid of a plugin every week, see how it works. Think of new concepts, try them, really try them. Innovate, tweak, pivot, rinse repeat.

    Hustle.

  10. I love the message behind these. After blogging for about a year, I’ve done most of these. The hardest one for me is the last one – innovation. That one is easier when everything is going your way. When it isn’t, it can be difficult as you have to think outside of the box.

    For me, it would be easy to live my life as Steve mentioned above. I am quiet and shy at times and like time to myself. However, I haven taken risks and put myself out there. I need to do more. Effort and passion are two things I don’t lack. Innovation and risk are two areas where I need to improve.

    • Steve Errey says:

      I hear ya! Innovation is something you can’t “force” or deliver to a schedule. So it’s often about setting things up so that you have the space, time, energy (or whatever else you need) to make room for innovation.

      There’s a lot of talk about “hustling”, but I think that’s often the enemy of innovation.

      Sounds like you’re doing great – what’s something that would help you to innovate or take the next risk?

  11. david says:

    Hi Steve, Thanks for this post.

    I have a personal experience for being recognized for sticking my neck out. Many people saw me on TV when I was talked about for going to China to protest human right violations against Falun Gong Practitioners.

    My coworker said his parents half-a-state away saw me on TV and asked about me. So, I guess it is true that when you stand up for something or risk your neck, others notice you.

    One thing I want to point out. You mentioned that no one gets paid for writing dirtly little Limericks. I think you forgot about Andrew Clay. :)

    • Steve Errey says:

      Spot on – the very act of doing something that matters to you can get you noticed.

      (I just Google’d Andrew Clay btw!)

  12. Dorci says:

    Excellent post. I have a recipe for lemon bars called Lemon Lust. Reminds me that even though I have a seemingly bottomless truckload of lemons, I can still have great passion in what I do. Thanks for the fresh perspective.

  13. Jan Bierens says:

    What I have been noticing over the last few weeks is the fact that a lo of blog post start with “5 surefire ways to [...]“. Followed by thorough explanations all starting with “Don’t”.. I’m wondering what the tactics behind all this is? Any suggestions?

    Other than that the post itself hits home, so it must be working.

    // Jan

    • Steve Errey says:

      I guess it comes down to the most effective ways to get things across Jan. A simple list and a simple structure packs more punch than lengthy and verbose explanations…

  14. brismod says:

    Ahh…very motivating words. Sometimes it’s just easy to stay in the comfort zone. I’m definitely guilty of #2 and not sticking my neck out more. Will have to put your words to good use. x

  15. ZonaIde says:

    For Information about 5 Surefire Ways to Never Get Noticed by Anybody. Thanks…

  16. Guy Hogan says:

    I’m reading two books on Andy Warhol. Actually, he grew up in my neighborhood in Pittsburgh. Andy would agree with you. And I’m happy to report that my little blog is finally getting noticed.

  17. Hari Narayan says:

    Nice and useful post. First I was struggling in blogging, when everybody noticed me as unique. But this post has made me understood fully!. Nice post

  18. Fear of sticking your neck out and raising the stakes are exactly why most people will never run a business. That reluctance to take large risks and to play it safe is a sure fire way to be a follower and to work for someone else’s dreams.

    • Steve Errey says:

      Totally agree Brian. Of course, some people are perfectly happy and joyful working for others so self-employment isn’t the *only* way.

  19. Colleeng says:

    Great inspiration in this post. It’s taken me a long time to realize that you’ll never be happy until you do that thing that’s always been gnawing away at you, no matter how crazy it may seem.

  20. I love the line here “You always notice someone who honours, expresses and demonstrates the things that matter most to them.” I think too many people compromise or give up their dreams far too easily, especially women, in order to make others happy. This is a great article! Makes you really think.

  21. William Lee says:

    Great article. I agree with “don’t innovate”. We can see a lot of successful products is not new products just like Microsoft Windows is not the first operating system, iPhone is not the first mobile phone, Facebook is not the first and only social site and etc. The best thing is not always the first innovation but the improvement to the first innovation is the key to bigger success.

    Don’t try to innovate if we do not have the skill but try to make the existing better and more user friendly will help us succeed faster!

    Great article! Please visit me on my blog too. :)

    • Steve Errey says:

      You’re welcome William. Sometimes taking something that already exists and adding that missing 10% makes a MASSIVE difference.

  22. Glynis Jolly says:

    Definitely worthwhile reading. With this blogging stuff, I think you need to jump to the outside of the box and do your jig, making sure everyone in the box can see you.

  23. I love this post! I believe with number one in place, all the others flow naturally. When we stop worrying about what other people think of us – what we should or shouldn’t do, and start focusing on what matters to us the most…we become unstoppable!

    • Steve Errey says:

      It goes a long way doesn’t it? It’s not exclusive to bloggers, but particularly when you’re putting your stuff out there for the world to see it’s all too easy to focus on what other people think.

  24. Kevin says:

    I really enjoyed the post. I’ve been noticing lately that I’ve let myself get too comfortable. You have to push yourself to go above and beyond. In my day job I’m working with a guy who does just that, and his commission check is twice mine. If I stick my neck out it may get chopped off, or I may end up making some serious money. Only time will tell.

    • Steve Errey says:

      Thanks Kevin – the ability to notice when you need to push yourself or step outside of your comfort zone is AMAZING. Get to it : )

  25. Amit Shaw says:

    Nice post Steve . As priya told about this line ““You always notice someone who honours, expresses and demonstrates the things that matter most to them.” i love it too :) Thanks for sharing this.

  26. Nice , awesome , detailed , well explained post niel :) thanks for sharing
    @amit Shaw good to see you here mate :)