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How to Appease the Blogging Gods

This guest post is by Sriram Reddy of BloggingTipster.com.

In ancient Greece, there used to be numerous gods for almost everything, from music to war. To appease the gods so they could a better life, the Greeks used to pray, pour wine on the ground, build statues, hold festivities, and make sacrifices, among other rituals.

Just as the Greeks had gods for each aspect of life, there was also “Bloggareus,” the god of blogging (mythic, created by yours truly). And boy, was he a tough cookie!

The high respect that Bloggareus commanded in ancient blogging lore was unparalleled. Even now, after all these years, worship and offerings are the least he expects in return for his prized favors. Many bloggers have felt his wrath whenever they have neglected him.

So, how do we god-fearing bloggers appease our beloved Bloggareus so he can shower traffic, ad clicks, and riches on us?

  1. We bloggers will have to offer a post to him every day—or at least (at the very least!) once a week—to escape his fury. Bloggareus, with an insatiable appetite for blog posts, will in return grant us with more visitors, and make them take notice of us.
  2. He will only be pacified with the highest quality of content, and will settle for nothing less. Write with passion. Keep your posts fresh, useful, accurate, readable and at times inspirational. He is quick to spot fruitless content, and if he does, you will have to face the repercussions. Symptoms of his displeasure are generally a decrease in page clicks and reputation. A quick secret: he holds a special regard for list posts, as they are easier to scan and read, so offer him as many as you can.
  3. Bloggareus holds a soft spot for the readers and visitors. He looks upon them almost like demigods. If he finds out that the content is not engaging the readers, or if readers are leaving dissatisfied and without posting comments, expect his backlash to be unforgiving. Even more so since he is fondly looked down upon by Zeus, the king of the Greek gods, and Zeus will do everything within his power to bring down sinful bloggers, sometimes even send down thunderbolts.
  4. Choose the title of your post very carefully before you offer it to Bloggareus. Write a title that delivers a promise of the content to the readers, and ensure your content backs it up. Try to keep the title short, crisp, and sometimes witty. That’s the way he likes them.
  5. Include as many links as you can in your posts to earn Bloggareus’s cherished brownie points. Add links to other posts within your blog, as well as links to external sites. Remember, the more relevant information you provide to the readers, the merrier your post will be.
  6. Bloggareus looks favorably on those bloggers who promote their posts well through social media, blog commenting, discussion forums, and newsletters.
  7. Also, don’t forget to appease ProBloggereus, the demigod of blogging inspiration, as well as other demigods (established bloggers) once in a while with guest posts. They will shower you with loads of traffic, and the odd backlink, of course.

Only the hardworking, truth-speaking, selfless bloggers will be able to stand the tests Bloggareus puts forth. These are the essential qualities of a virtuous blogger. I hope my post has spurred enough devotion in my fellow bloggers, and this post leads their deeds to immortality!

Sriram writes lock stock and barrel about sharpening blogging skills at www.BloggingTipster.com. He would love to have you following him on Twitter.

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Comments

  1. # We bloggers will have to offer a post to him every day

    i agree with you. i always try to keep posting everyday. i hope that i can get many visitors from this habbit. :)

  2. Faizan says:

    Creative post, but nothing new in the advice .

    • Zia says:

      Well, # 7 is new for me. lol
      The same retold advice every time we read, because its the reality. We don’t have many options but to accept and practice those repeated advices.

  3. I love how you took much talked about advice and put it in such a way to make it entertaining. :) I love Greek mythology and I was laughing with enjoyment the entire time I read this. :)

  4. His Siriram I like the way you present your post. I have read this kind of writing when the blogger using personification for Google bot as if the the bot speak to the blogger and giving the blogger advise on what to do and not to do. It is really fun to read, the blogger know how to break the ice with his reader. Two thumbs dude.

  5. naijadotcom says:

    Title,contents,links got that Boss,Thanks.

  6. naijadotcom says:

    Title,contents,links got that Boss,Thanks.

  7. Paul Profitt says:

    Bloggareus. I promise to try and follow thy 7 commandments. As I wish to become an immortal Blogger like thyself.

  8. Emforce says:

    Haha loved it! Oh dead Bloggareus give me your bountiful fruit! :L

  9. Nice, funny and informative article. I think the greatest advice is the importance of choosing a title that people will google to find out about a topic.

    It has worked lots of me.

    All the best to everyone,
    David

  10. Jack says:

    Creative and a funny spin on blogging’s golden rules.
    A nice reminder for veteran, fundamental advice for beginners.

  11. I will definitely take these tips on my blog in Korean. Definitely keep up the good work!

  12. ahmadyani says:

    Blog owners do not participate in choice. They must provide a blog that meets the readers appetite.

  13. Manisha says:

    Amazing Post!! I like the analogy of the Greek Gods!!
    I also like they way you packaged these basic blogging tips into an interesting read.
    Very innovative!!

  14. Sweet, and no pesky “though shall not kill” business.

  15. FelixWL says:

    Thank you great article, as first it obviously tells that we have to post at least one a week so we can better our blog, quality content; helpful; gods punishment.. this is awesome!! hard working gives us more benefits.

  16. dojo says:

    Old advice, nicely presented though. It’s funny and educational at the same time. These commandments are indeed important for anyone who’s trying to ‘appease’ the gods or just have some success, as us mortals usually aim to :D

  17. #4 jumps out at me Sriram. Without a good title your work goes largely unnoticed. Now I let my titles marinate for 5 to 10 minutes. I step away from my laptop for a few, return, and ask myself if the title is magnetic. Does it grab my attention? Never be in a rush to post, always be patient and feel through your copy, seeing what words hit an emotional push button.

  18. Manuel says:

    Hear yee, thy wisdom that cometh upon us in your righteous will, will deliver us from the hell of zombiefall. I repent and promise to deliver thy the daily post. Deliver us from the evil procrastination and guide us through ProBlogger promised land of thoughtful blogging.

    Thanks for these seven steps :D

  19. This article sure will help out us! I will follow the 7 tips. Thanks!

  20. Awesome and funny post, Sriram! Very creative writing. Was a pleasure to read blogging tips put in a new way.

  21. Guy Hogan says:

    This was an enjoyable read. It’s classic advice. May the gods smile upon you.

  22. Cindy says:

    I love these posts, I did notice a slack off in traffic when I went as much as *GASP* nine days without posting. Now I strive for at least twice per week on my blog. Thanks for all your tips. I read your site all the time.

  23. Iago Fraga says:

    I have to admit that advice was really simple but, the parallelism is awesome and from now on I will have to cross the “Others” box when asked for religion in surveys. Enjoyed it :) !

  24. Tram Tran says:

    You got my soft spot, I love greek mythology. Btw may I add to point 3. ‘Even more so since he is fondly looked down upon by Zeus(SEOus)=>pronounced si-sus>, the king of the Greek(Internet) gods, and Zeus (SEOus)will do everything within his power to bring down sinful bloggers, sometimes even send down thunderbolts( negative reviews?)
    The content in the bracket is my suggestion to go with the flow of your post. Tell me what you think;) btw, I jus RT. Say hi to me on twitter or my blog sometimes;)

    • Sriram Reddy says:

      @Everyone,
      Glad you are enjoying the post, look out for more from me.

      Hi Tram Tran,
      I like the way you developed Zeus into SEOus, and the compared of his thunderbolts to negative reviews, crafty :)

  25. I love the analogy and the way you presented the facts. That’s truly creative writing.

    Keep it up Sriram :-)

  26. José says:

    Also don’t forget that Bloggareus doesn’t want you to get very tired, so that you may dedicate part of your Sunday to him. Hire some guest bloggers.

  27. Bougie Girl says:

    I love this article. Very clever.

  28. Paul Jun says:

    Bloggareous sounds like the name of the huge bald guy that fights Brad Pitt in the beginning scenes of Troy.

    Creative post.

    Nothing like good Greek Mythology metaphor.

  29. That was fun! It was quite informative too. I made up my mind to be in this for the long haul. Lately I’ve been reading that guest-blogging, if done right, can generate all the traffic one needs, even if that means cutting down on the frequency of posts on your own blog. Not all pundits agree on anything of course, but I’m looking into it. Wonder if that will appease the great Bloggareus?

  30. Daniel says:

    Humorous and very informative, Sriram

    Whether we like it or not, this list though quite basic in nature, contains Blogging essentials that will for the most part yield great results.

    The tricky part is getting the balance right.

  31. haha, love your post Sriram.

    All are true, but the way you presented each one was creative and funny :)