Written on March 1st, 2010 at 01:03 am by Lara Kulpa
Stick Out Your Finger (Not That One!) and Create a Meaningful Blogging Experience
Guest post by Jenny McCoy
Sometimes it doesn’t matter where you’re going; you just kinda enjoy the ride.
This is true of my blogging experience.
After sharing my vision of church services optimized for screaming babies and their snoring grandparents, my drinking companion responded with glazed eyes and an outdoor voice, “You should write books or something. I’d read them.”
So I tiptoed onto the blogging scene ten months ago with a Wordpress.com account, a readership of six faithful friends and like most of you, a head full of ideas.
My blog was an escape, the final axe to my quarter-life crisis.
“What am I here for? What am I meant to do? Can I defer my 10-year reunion and escape the “Most Likely to Succeed” superlative expectations?”
Blogging gave me an answer, a direction.
I am here to write.
At first, this was enough. I wrote for my table of six devoted friends and I subscribed to sites like this one to adapt my craft.
“Comment! Network!” – Demanded the experts.
But I didn’t.
Sure, I knew the benefits that awaited commenters.
Traffic. Link building. An inbox overflowing with follow-up comment notifications.
But commenting for those reasons alone seemed so futile. So boring. So fake.
And then an a-ha! post from Blogussion about building community invaded my RSS feed and things clicked.*
Within minutes, I made my first real comment and within hours the twitchy giant responded and commented on my most recent post. Josh was the first person outside of my inner circle of obligation to comment on my blog; and while his thoughts on the Cupid Shuffle were not life-changing, his quick, genuine response did force a beautiful paradigm shift in my head.
I liked it and I wanted more.
Later that week, I connected with two GenY bloggers, landing my first guest post and two new Facebook friends – one an HR specialist in Philadelphia and the other a blogger and student in Amsterdam.
Suddenly it wasn’t just me and my laptop against the world. And I’m glad, because we weren’t holding up too well anyway.
Soon, I was mesmerized by a ProBlogger guest post and I continued to comment on this insanely smart woman’s site until she broke down and asked me to start a (dwindling) t-shirt company with her and to compose my second guest post.
And so it continued. Through comments, emails and Twitter @mentions I was able to:
- Land my third guest post and an interview as part of the “Up-and-Coming Bloggers” interview series
- Meet a fellow 20-something white person with subpar dancing skills and an awesome blog
- Connect with a humor author and journalist to get tips on manuscripts, grad degrees and videos with blowup dolls
- Get free assistance with an “Oh-my-God-I’m-Going-to-Shoot-Myself” issue with images on my homepage from a very generous developer who frequently helps people out on Twitter when he’s bored
All of this spawned from my prompted decision to become more than a writer and a reader –to become an integral part of the blogging community.
My advice: Find relationships that matter.
Many of us dream of hosting A-List blogs. We dream of earning a respectable income by writing about the topics we know and love.** And these dreams are often derived from a larger goal: to break away from the bureaucracy our college degrees earned us and to make an existence on our own terms.
With that said, why would you make any part of this experience inauthentic?
Connect with people you like. Offer your thoughts with no expectation in return. Meet people in your niche or use web transparency to connect with people who live drastically differently lives than you. Whatever your choice, create an online existence that means something.
Take the cryptic, final words of Christopher McCandless, “Happiness is only real when shared” and apply them to your blog.
Do you have your own blogging community? Share. I’d love to hear your thoughts and I may even want to catch a ride.
*This click shared an eerie resemblance to the click that allowed the clutch-to-gas ration to finally align in my brain after nine months of sputtering failure, but it was much less expensive.
** With Mimosas and incomes large enough to pay for the breeding of a miniature elephant that can be walked on a leash and eat party peanuts. Just me?
Jenny McCoy prefers writing to climbing ladders, but does a little of both. She once brought sexy back in a High School Musical bathing suit and her addiction to Venn diagrams is rivaled only by her love for Microsoft Paint masterpieces. Take a break from your work day and check out her (admittedly) wacky blog at WorkinOnARamp.com.
91 Responses to “Stick Out Your Finger (Not That One!) and Create a Meaningful Blogging Experience” - Add Yours
Robby G
March 1st, 2010 1:25 am
Jenny that’s a very entertaining post. Nice story and it’s crazy how far you’ve gotten since when you just started. Blogging really does become part of a person’s life more than anyone can imagine until they actually get a blog going. Glad to have been there in the beginning to help out.
Liane
March 1st, 2010 1:36 am
I actually liked the part when you said things sort of “clicked”. I had moments like that before too. those where the times I felt like I’m closer than ever to conquer the world. Lol.
My own blogging community? I’d say the core of my community lies around my circle of friends. They’re a mix of top bloggers to newbies. and I don’t mind. I value them equally and I see that they’ve made my blog worth more than anything else.
-Liane
Nicholas Z. Cardot
March 1st, 2010 1:37 am
I think you summed it up perfectly when you said, “Find relationships that matter.”
Often people are commenting just to grab a backlink or to get noticed but the comments that are truly the most effective are the ones where you are actually reaching out and engaging in the conversation with the author. As you mentioned, comments like these can actually trigger incredibly fruitful relationships. And by fruitful, I don’t mean simply because they lead to opportunities, but sometimes simply because that person adds value to you through their attitude or their wisdom. And that’s important.
This is why I don’t care if the comment section is follow or nofollow. I don’t care if the blogger is caught up in the KeywordLuv or CommentLuv trend or not. I just want to comment on blogs where I think real conversation is taking place. I just want to comment where I think that I can really connect with people.
Great post, by the way. It’s absolutely terrific. I’m taking that quote back with me. “Find relationships that matter.” Thank you for it.
hokya
March 1st, 2010 1:37 am
that’s totally nice
but i think it’s to earlier for me to think about this :P
Heather @ CSAHM
March 1st, 2010 1:39 am
This is such a great post. Definitely gives me more to think about within my blogging goals, and my own little community on the web. :)
WaistingTime
March 1st, 2010 2:06 am
I started blogging, not to long ago, to find personal motivation and accountability. I thought I was blogging for myself and to hear myself speak. But then I got comments and I visited other sites and I found the most amazing sense of community and support. It is amazing. And unexpected. I love it.
dpRI
March 1st, 2010 2:10 am
I am now where you were. Watching and learning, wanting in.Your insight has brought me one step closer to taking the plunge. I’m not a natural writer and a horrible speller but have a wealth of knowledge to share. Although well educated, I am more of a visual thinker. So here I sit… one step closer thanks to you.
Shannon O | Confessions of a Loving Wife
March 1st, 2010 2:13 am
Hi Jenny,
I love to come across fellow Red Shoe Bloggers! I’m sure you know exactly what I mean when I say that.
I agree with you, there is nothing like the feeling you get when someone reads what you wrote and has a opinion on it – good, bad or indifferent, it’s just the idea that they cared enough to type a comment or a question.
My blog is very new, only 6 weeks old, but my small blogging community has been built around the blogs that I LOVE, usually I read something that speaks to me and make a comment, they take a look at my blog and it gets born from there. I’ve also found that twitter helps to expand these relationship and it’ really a wonderful thing.
Thanks for sharing your blogging plight; it was extremely interesting, entertaining and valuable.
Catherine Vibert
March 1st, 2010 2:23 am
Wow, I’m glad I read this. I’ve been blogging for a couple of years and have reached the heights of at times 60 or more comments on my blog, and I was spending enormous hours reading and commenting in an obligatory fashion, that I was hurting my body and not getting enough art or writing done or enough life away from the computer. Because of that I stopped going to many of the blogs, and my audience dwindled. Through twitter I am finding so many beautiful people and blogs that I love, but I know now that I simply can’t get to them all all of the time. However, it is genuine now, and I’ve stopped commenting when my connection isn’t visceral to a blog topic. Often, I love the people behind the writing, but the writing does not resonate, or the blog authors spend most of their time posting advice or other people’s writing. It feels important to me to go to other writers blogs to see their work, and be moved by it. So you can see why I’d be moved by your post, as this has been a weighty issue in my mind and I’ve felt some loss by not returning to some of the blogs and losing connections with the people behind them. Luv this, got here by @taojoannes rt of this lovely post.
Sheila @ notoneoftheherd.com
March 1st, 2010 2:36 am
Haha, I love this, and like most bloggers, can certainly relate! I’m currently in the writing-for-a-handful-of-faithful-friends category.
This is probably a completely moronic question, but how do you FIND blogs to comment on? Is there a directory somewhere that lists blogs by topic?
Tony Teegarden
March 1st, 2010 2:46 am
The title alone on this post was awesome. Yes, it totally made me read it, job well done ;-)
Aside from that I like how you just flat out took action. I believe you give lead to many other people who think they aren’t ready for guest posting. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been blogging. Do you provide awesome, relevant and valuable content?
That’s the big key. Love your quirky blog and how you just “stand in what you’re about.”
Oh not to mention you’re in FL too, that double rocks lol. Congrats on all of your success so far you’ve created.
Nexi
March 1st, 2010 2:54 am
I’ve come back to blogging after a two year break and have been surprised by the shifts resulting from the recent exponential growth in twitter. My immediate impression is that community is migrating to twitter – plus so much available material now to scan that people conserve energy – look in but don’t comment as much as they did. Think there’s more of a divergence now between those looking for a social blog, and info seekers. Interesting, different post!
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 3:19 am
@Robby – Thanks! I’m glad I stumbled upon your site as well. That was one of the most entertaining parts early on was getting to know people like you who were on different continents but still passionate about blogging and writing in general. It definitely is difficult to explain to people just how refreshing writing a blog is. I’ve tried to encourage several of my friends to start their own blogs, but so many of them still view blogging as the melodramatic MySpace deals that used to be so popular.
@Liane – Yes, those “click” moments are hard to come by, but so worth it. I’ve had a few so far and it’s honestly kind of like a high that once it wears off you start chasing it again, except not in the bad-you-need-to-go-to-rehab way. That’s great that you have a close knit already. Every blog has a different purpose, and for some, that close knit is really all that is necessary. Whenever I start aiming for a higher RSS or email subscription number I always stop and ask myself, “What is the point? Why will 500 RSS subscribers make my blog better than if it has 250?”
@ Thanks Nicholas! I’m a subscriber of your blog and always enjoy your posts :) I completely agree with you. One of the blogs I linked to, LifeWithoutPants.com is a fantastic example of they type of blog I enjoy commenting on. The conversations taking place on Matt’s blog are genuine and often, I’ll subscribe to new blogs just by reading the depth of the comment left by some of his readers. I’m glad that I can’t stomach the comment-gaming strategy because in the end, if this becomes a full-time deal for me, I want to enjoy it. Looking forward to getting to know you more!
@hokya You’d be surprised. I do think you need a little content built up before you really start networking so that people have enough to read and get to see your style, but you may be able to still form relationships that will help you get to that phase.
@ Thanks Heather! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Aren’t little internet communities the best?
@ Thanks Shannon. Oh I totally know what you mean when you say “red shoe bloggers” haha. I agree completely with your statement about Twitter. Often it’s a comment on a blog followed up by an @ mention on Twitter that creates a great new relationship with a blogger I really enjoy reading. It’s funny because I still have non-Internet nerd friends who think I’m crazy for being on Twitter, but Twitter has been one of the primary sources of growth for my online networking and blog traffic. Looking forward to checking out your blog :)
@Sheila – Thanks! Not a moronic question at all! What I’ve found is that when you find a good blog with a great community like LifeWithoutPants.com, the people who are commenting and the blogs that writer is linking to, are generally blogs that you’ll enjoy and want to immediately subscribe to. It’s a very viral thing. I also have joined sites more specific to my target audience. It seems there’s a blogging community for everything now. For example, I joined 20sb.net, a community for 20-something bloggers. From there, I looked at who had been nominated for awards and who had one and I added all of them to my RSS. From that point it was just a matter of weeding out the ones I really liked. I try to add at least 10 new blogs to check out each week. Just a couple ideas.
@Tony – Thanks! I really believe that if you’re passionate about what you’re writing about and you’re passionate about pursuing blogging, the pursuit and taking action just comes naturally. There are times when I look at the clock on a Tuesday and it’s 1:30 a.m. and I’m still working away at something. I don’t mind the next day drowsiness because it’s something I really and genuinely enjoy doing. I totally agree that it’s never too soon to branch out and try guest posting. Guest posting gives you the opportunity to see what someone else’s community thinks about your style and good or bad, that provides value and makes you a better writer. Points back for a fellow Floridian! We’ll have to get in touch..
TheYoungLib
March 1st, 2010 3:30 am
Being a relatively new blogger, I find it difficult sometimes to find those who will give you the time of day; even when your efforts are genuine and of quality. I think a lot depends on the niche that your blog belongs; some niches and groups support each other more than others. Whereas politics for example, has more of a competitive nature.
Anyone have any good suggestions for younger, liberal blogs? Other than the larger, more obvious ones?
Wendy
March 1st, 2010 3:38 am
I love the ‘happiness is only real when shared’ quote. My favorite thing about the web is that it’s a free place to learn, full of generous people to connect with. Yes, it sometimes seems that everyone is trying to sell you something or other, but there’s a lot of useful stuff out there, from people telling you their favorite way to sew a fabric grocery bag to sharing their experience of going a week without sleep and a colic-y baby. As you find more and more people that have similarities with it, makes you feel less alone and at the same time expands your comfort zone as you meet people who are also very different from you.
Srinivas Rao
March 1st, 2010 3:42 am
Jenny,
Congrats on getting your guest post here. Thanks for the shout outs. It’s been an amazing journey so far hasn’t it. To think that we’re only in the first year of something that will probably last quite a long time and have a significant impact on our lives. I love the way you break it down :).
Josh Hanagarne
March 1st, 2010 3:47 am
Jenny, you’re the greatest. You deserve all the good things that are coming to you. Thanks for the mention. I’m still waiting for that Pressfield Interview:)
Christina Sponias
March 1st, 2010 4:00 am
Dear Darren,
Each time I visit your blog I decide to read all your articles and come here everyday to learn more with you, but I´m a writer, and I keep writing and teaching everyone everything I know, because I´m also an expert on scientific dream interpretation.
I followed your advice and my most important blog (which now I update everyday) is now appearing at the first page when someone types its main keywords.
The only advice I didn´t follow was to look for blogger-partners. I have a big problem on making relationships online, because it takes too much of my time, while I have so much to write about… and most people are too busy with their own plans…
However, all my knowledge and everything I teach everyone still doesn´t reach a large audience, exactly because I don´t have the indispensable relationships you have mentioned in your article.
Could you show us, who have difficulty on finding the right relationships and have no talent for that, how we could immediately find blogger-partners who would like to exchange links, posts, create JVs, etc…?
Thank you!
Carrie Boyko
March 1st, 2010 4:25 am
That website box always presents a dilemna, as I have to pick just one of my 3 blogs to enter. Tisk!
I really enjoyed your entertaining, yet poignant post, and share many mutual experiences in my own journey into this life-changing activity.
As soon as I sign off here, I’ll be perusing your blog to see where our interests cross. Maybe there is a guest post exchange in our futures!!!
Surgery Houston
March 1st, 2010 4:44 am
There are so many fly by night bloggers out there. Everyone is trying to break into the picture and make money. It’s tough to wade through it all sometimes. I think you took the right approach.
Thomas Griffin
March 1st, 2010 4:58 am
Your title was enough to capture my attention. Well done.
I have trouble building relationships with other bloggers in my niche…because, well, they are non-existent. My blog is completely dedicated to singing and vocal technique, and I cannot find active bloggers in this niche.
I truly appreciate your candidness. Reminds me that we do this fun, not just for cash. You outta write for The Onion.
Thomas
Wendy Sullivan
March 1st, 2010 5:16 am
Absolutely find the meaningful relationships! There is no point whatsoever in forcing relationships that are half-assed just because you are following some kind of blogging guru plan for success. I delete probably 50 fake comments a day, that serve no other purpose than to promote back links to the commenter’s site. I refuse to make those kinds of comments on others’ sites.
When a real releationship is created, both parties will benefit. That’s what matters.
W
Chris Pontine
March 1st, 2010 5:18 am
You state,
“Traffic. Link building. An inbox overflowing with follow-up comment notifications.
But commenting for those reasons alone seemed so futile. So boring. So fake.”
These reasons can get old and it seems if you think beyond this type you actually get farther. To comment and network with others that may be struggling or may just need boost of encouragement can go along ways.
Evelyn Yvonne Theriault
March 1st, 2010 5:20 am
I’ve had a similar experience. My blog is just over one year old. When I started out I had a clear purpose about what I wanted to do with my blog.
Now my blog has “two faces”. I still use it for its initial purpose (as a publishing platform for genealogical information) but the community part (around genealogy & deltiology) has grown to where it’s now my primary focus.
I’ve had well over a thousand comment this year and these comments have shape where my blog is going and stretched me as a blogger.
Thanks for sharing,
Evelyn in Montreal
K9 Coach
March 1st, 2010 5:24 am
Sweet. Nice post. Authentic. Loved it.
…. reminds me of the inspiration behind my blog. I’m a dog trainer. Lots of dog trainers have blogs now. They write about the same old sH*t…. potty training, barking, jumping… blah….
I decided to write about the real stuff dogs are about… how they reflect our own behavior… how they can teach us to chill out…. or how we in fact teach them to be nervous wrecks….
… and people started following… way more than when I was writing about how to get your dog to not pee in the house anymore….
… now I’ve started learning from these Dude’s …. like Darren. It gets better and better. Love bringing my business to the web through a blog….
Susie
March 1st, 2010 7:04 am
I find it amazing that it seems that many times the same topic is on a lot of people’s minds.
I was directed to this post by Heather from Notes from lapland who sent me an email saying that after reading my last two posts (feb 27 and 28th), she thought of me while she was reading this post and she sent me the link. (I never would have found it if I had not been pointed in the right direction)
What you said definitely resonated with me.
Good for you!
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 7:36 am
@Robby – Thanks! I’m glad I stumbled upon your site as well. That was one of the most entertaining parts early on was getting to know people like you who were on different continents but still passionate about blogging and writing in general. It definitely is difficult to explain to people just how refreshing writing a blog is. I’ve tried to encourage several of my friends to start their own blogs, but so many of them still view blogging as the melodramatic MySpace deals that used to be so popular.
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 7:36 am
@Liane – Yes, those “click” moments are hard to come by, but so worth it. I’ve had a few so far and it’s honestly kind of like a high that once it wears off you start chasing it again, except not in the bad-you-need-to-go-to-rehab way. That’s great that you have a close knit already. Every blog has a different purpose, and for some, that close knit is really all that is necessary. Whenever I start aiming for a higher RSS or email subscription number I always stop and ask myself, “What is the point? Why will 500 RSS subscribers make my blog better than if it has 250?”
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 7:37 am
@ Thanks Nicholas! I’m a subscriber of your blog and always enjoy your posts :) I completely agree with you. One of the blogs I linked to, LifeWithoutPants.com is a fantastic example of they type of blog I enjoy commenting on. The conversations taking place on Matt’s blog are genuine and often, I’ll subscribe to new blogs just by reading the depth of the comment left by some of his readers. I’m glad that I can’t stomach the comment-gaming strategy because in the end, if this becomes a full-time deal for me, I want to enjoy it. Looking forward to getting to know you more!
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 7:38 am
@hokya You’d be surprised. I do think you need a little content built up before you really start networking so that people have enough to read and get to see your style, but you may be able to still form relationships that will help you get to that phase.
@ Thanks Heather! I’m glad you enjoyed it. Aren’t little internet communities the best?
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 7:38 am
@ Thanks Shannon. Oh I totally know what you mean when you say “red shoe bloggers” haha. I agree completely with your statement about Twitter. Often it’s a comment on a blog followed up by an @ mention on Twitter that creates a great new relationship with a blogger I really enjoy reading. It’s funny because I still have non-Internet nerd friends who think I’m crazy for being on Twitter, but Twitter has been one of the primary sources of growth for my online networking and blog traffic. Looking forward to checking out your blog :)
Suzanne Vara
March 1st, 2010 7:43 am
Jenny
It is so interesting that in social media that we have to remind people to find relationships that matter. Social media is new to many and the need to be noticed and liked and a part of the A-listers group has socially paralyzed us. For some it is a defining moment when they are noticed by someone big when the defining moment should be from within and something to share with people/relationships that matter. When working with clients they are quick to want the high numbers as high number of followers, fans would equate to more sales. While this point cannot be 100% disputed, I find myself explaining relationships and how they are built in social media. It is not their fault, it is what they have been taught and have to rethink how they do business with the online community.
I love connecting with people who I feel that fit into my community and more importantly where I fit into theirs. To what degree is the relationship for both and how do we manage it so that we are staying focused on the people that matter and not the numbers.
If we all were in the mindset of finding relationships that matter, we would have such a strong community as whole and individually.
@SuzanneVara
Jewelry Secrets
March 1st, 2010 8:12 am
Find relationships that matter… what a great line. You’re right. Instead of following people that don’t care about me or what I do, I should connect with people who actually will talk to me and respond. Very well put. That would make me happy.
Suhasini
March 1st, 2010 8:25 am
Find relationship that matter, you have got this very right and whatever you have mentioned here is just right.
Mike Stenger
March 1st, 2010 9:36 am
Great story Jenny! It really is about relationships. Too many people get caught up in the money side and neglect everything else when it’s those relationships, that will make you money and not just that but allow you to grow into who you’ve always wanted to be.
Technology Slice
March 1st, 2010 9:41 am
What’s wrong with the middle finger? :-)
Jen aka Kittykat7983
March 1st, 2010 9:54 am
Great post!
Recently I been trying to start my own online business so I could make an extra income because my current part time job at Disneyland barely allows me to pay the rent and bills.
I have been doing a lot of learning and I came to the same kind of conclusion that you have written about and that is that I love to write.
I was thinking about it this morning as I made breakfast about how I love to tell stories and that I want to share my stories and experiences with others and also find ways to make money at the same time.
Everything about Internet Marketing that I have been coming across lately is about first connecting with people and forming relationships then if you have something to offer them that is more valuable to them then what you ask for in return then you create a win- win situation which is great for everyone!
Also I keep finding that it seems the best way to make sales of any products be it physical or digital, your own or something your promoting is by first giving away things of great value to those who might later want to buy from you because you have already given them something or many things of great value so they then value you and trust you.
I hope to continue to add value and share with others and help people in any way that I can.
Thanks again for the great post!
Jen aka Kittykat7983
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 10:13 am
@Suhasini – Thanks!
@Mike – Great to see you over here. Thanks! I completely agree. I would obviously like to make money from this whole thing eventually, but I’m not sure that my blog is where that income will come from. Maybe it’s not as much of an all-in-one deal as so many people try to force..
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 10:14 am
@Technology Slice – Okay fine, the next article will be all about showing that middle finger :)
Mark J
March 1st, 2010 11:04 am
Jenny,
Great post. I noticed you started on wordpress. If you knew what you know now, would you have still started there? Or would you have purchased your own website through one of the many host companies (like go-daddy for instance)?
Thanks
MJ
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 11:26 am
@Wastingtime – Glad to hear it. I was surprised as well at just how friendly and willing to help the blogging community is. It’s definitely refreshing in contrast to the sometimes opposing experience in the “real world.”
@TheYoungLib It definitely seems like there would be a community out there for that exact crowd. Maybe search through Google Blog results for various keywords. Usually, if you can just find one or two that is the gateway to many more. Good luck!
@Wendy – Glad you enjoyed that quote. It is one of my favorites out there. It’s definitely refreshing to find people who share your interests or a similar view point (in my case, a quirky sense of humor) and I completely agree that it makes the whole process of blogging so much more worthwhile.
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 11:31 am
@Srini and @Josh – Thanks for stopping by! It’s been great forming relationships with you two so far and I look forward to much more collaboration in the future.. opening up that guest post word doc as I type.. like right now.. okay.. maybe now.. or now.. Josh :)
@Christina – I know you’re asking Darren, but I’d like to suggest that you make a small goal of maybe contacting just one to two bloggers a week. Maybe the issue isn’t time for the task but rather viewing the task as too big to tackle.. one to two relationships a week would give you a great network very quickly :)
@ Carrie – Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it and I’ll return the blog checkout favor. Hope you enjoy my blog!
@ SurgeryHouston – Thanks! I’m glad you’re taking the same approach as I really do feel like a genuine approach is really the only way to go.
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 11:37 am
@Thomas – Thanks! Glad my title did the magic trick of getting you to click through. I really do try to bring a little more fun to my writing.. and I am quite the fan of The Onion. I have thought about sending them an application before, haha.
@Wendy S. – I’m glad you share my sentiment. I completely agree that one real relationship far outweighs 20 fake relationships.
@Chris – That’s a great way to approach commenting. I’ve seen a few people complain before about A-list bloggers not getting back to them in the comment section and I always wonder why they don’t reach out to smaller blogs. Great point.
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 11:43 am
@Evelyn – That’s great! I’m interested to see the dual focus of your blog. I haven’t seen many blogs with that separation. Thanks for reading!
@K9Coach – Glad to hear you broke out of the echo chamber in your niche. Those are the blogs I enjoy reading most. Maybe I’ll subscribe even though my plans for a puppy addition are a few months away, haha.
@Susie – I’m glad you were pointed here and I’m glad it made a little difference in your blogging strategy :)
@SuzanneVera – I completely agree. Metrics are great but as Seth Godin points out in one of my favorite books “Tribes” it’s not always pure numbers that make the difference or spell success. Unfortunately, a good deal of the corporate world still revolves around these numbers but the amount of anecdotal evidence of the strength of fewer relationships with more depth seems to be growing. Thank God, right?
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 11:44 am
@JewelrySecrets – Thanks! I hope this strategy works for you :)
Hear Mum Roar
March 1st, 2010 12:49 pm
In answer to your question, yes, I do have a community. It’s a small one, since my blog is only a few months old, but the community part is so important to me, and I really do like to focus on that aspect of it.
desk guard
March 1st, 2010 1:04 pm
a good advice and guiding for the bloggers and commenters.
from the blog and other people’s comments, you will find the different ideas of the different people, that can enlarge you view. good.
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 1:09 pm
@Jen – That does seem to be the formula many use to make a living online. I’m not sure personally that that is the exact route I’ll take. I may want to leave my community the way it is and build out different sites that will be geared more toward creating a residual income from blogging. Great that you’re looking to join the online crowd :)
@Mark – I started on Wordpress.com primarily because I wasn’t sure which domain I wanted for my blog. As soon as I figured that out, I bought the domain on GoDaddy and installed the Wordpress App. I do SEO during my 9-5 so I wanted to get the domain history started a.s.a.p. and make sure I didn’t have to deal with permalink issues later in the process. Now though, when I start sites, I just wait to start them until I know the domain and I can start up on GoDaddy.. does that answer your question?
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 1:10 pm
@HearMumRoar – That’s great that you already have a community despite the size of your blog. I’m definitely a proponent of small, meaningful communities :)
Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink!
March 1st, 2010 1:40 pm
Man, this is such a great post! I have entered a terrific blogging community in my niche (weight loss blogging), and I’m so thankful that I’ve found them! The power of blogging is incredible – the relationships are real and have made a positive influence in my life.
Jenny
March 1st, 2010 2:39 pm
@Jenn- That’s great to hear and glad you enjoyed the post! Seems like many of the ProBlogger readers have the right idea about community already.
Tim
March 1st, 2010 3:52 pm
Great article!
Commenting purely to get a ping-back or a visit kind of grates on me. My Dad always said, “if you can’t say something intelligent, don’t speak.”
I’m a complete n00b at the blogging game, so it’s really encouraging and helpful to read this. I’ve made a start, but I’m still trying to find the community for my niche. Thanks!
Lena
March 1st, 2010 7:14 pm
This is one of the more interesting posts I’ve read today. Great job. Hope to read more of the good stuff from your site.
johnb
March 1st, 2010 9:56 pm
Hi Jenny,
Thanks for answering some questions some of us are hesitant to ask or don’t know how to ask. I’ll post this as a note on my cork board.
CrisisMaven
March 2nd, 2010 12:10 am
Thanks for that post giving new ideas or waking those that lay dormant. In fact, WHAT ELSE apart from blogging can achieve this goal of meeting or finding “relationships that matter” ACROSS CONTINENTS. Why, if you go to lectures or pubs you’ll meet only a limited local circle ever plus if your interests are rather “niche”, likely no one at all. If you write “letters to the editor” of some (inter)national magazines then either they’re not read, if, they’re not published, and if, they’re abridged. Only blogging has opend up all these avenues!
Avil Beckford
March 2nd, 2010 12:59 am
Jenny,
Thank you for this amazing post. I only comment on blog posts when I believe I can contribute to the conversation, otherwise I would come across as being insincere.
Over the past two weeks I have been more proactive and joined a blogging group on LinkedIn and other groups there. So I am interacting a lot more and putting myself out there. I am also responding to what others are saying, and because I am more proactive, I am finding genuine ways to get into the conversation.
My blog The Invisible Mentor is an educational one so I spent about seven months building the content before I told anyone that I was blogging, and a few readers found me through search engines. I am now focusing on building community and trying to enhance the user experience.
Thank you! Avil Beckford
Jeff C
March 2nd, 2010 1:49 am
Hi Jenny.
This was a very thought provoking post, and it really “clicked” for me.
For months now I have blogged for the sole purpose of driving traffic to my website. But you helped me see the much greater potential of building a true community – making my blog a true web of interconnected people, thoughts, and ideas rather than just a monologue. Thank you for the illumination!
Gennyca
March 2nd, 2010 1:49 am
I blog about my community…literally! I got sucked in by the Roatan Vortex, and wound up living on Roatan, a tropical Island, off the coast of Honduras. Everything I saw on websites and blogs detailed; tours, realestate, rental accomadations, etc., nothing to make you feel like you are part of a community.
What about; day to day life? What about; rescuing hummingbirds, not rescuing portugues-man-of-war, the ugliest oranges taste the best.
This stuff matters to me. I started blogging, and found out it matters to a whole lot of people! Next up…an on-line radio show!
Aglolink
March 2nd, 2010 1:54 am
Many who write and share with the community. This is a good thing to introduce and instill our blog to them.
Sarah Baron
March 2nd, 2010 3:46 am
Thanks for the kick in the behind! You are right. Toughest challenge for me is this – writing great content and trying to swim in the never-ending landscape of social media. As a new blogger (28 days and counting), I’ve gotten great guest comments (from strangers – yea!), and I just have to remember to keep moving.
Yes, and the morning trip to Google Analytics is like a report card, every day.
This is just the inspirational message I needed.
And it is an extension of life, isn’t it? To give it to have. Sappy, but oh so true.
Thanks,
Sarah Baron, member of the illustrious Anonymous8
Allan Kent Pedersen
March 2nd, 2010 5:18 am
It must always be a good idea to have a meaningful blog that people can relate to and understand. Its sometimes very difficult to find the deeper meaning of some blogs.
Leigh Shulman
March 2nd, 2010 7:53 am
The first thing that really struck me about your article is how entirely I agree with the sentiment of NOT commenting just to comment. To me that is a waste of time.
But commenting to build relationships, now that makes sense. Thank you for the links and techniques your provide for this as well.
I love, also, how you perfectly illustrate the next step of what building these relationships mean. You mention them on your Problogger article.
It’s interesting watching how groups of people form and work together through blogging, Twitter and the rest.
Wonderful to meet you. I look forward to reading more.
@pbarbanes
March 2nd, 2010 1:46 pm
Holy crap, Jenny! You’re not just funny, you’re smart, too! Who knew?! (Just met you at Barcamp Miam – as you know – and found your blog to be so…what’s the word…sasssssy! Funny. The Ellen Degeneres – and I love Ellen’s humor – of the blogging world.)
But THIS! This is a really smart post.
- Peace!
@pbarbanes
March 2nd, 2010 1:47 pm
A typo. In a Comment. Awesome. That was Miami. Barcamp MIAMI. : )
Andi | WebMarketerDepot
March 2nd, 2010 3:06 pm
Wow, that’s a great and enligtening advice, Jenny. I also had the same kind of mentality when I start blogging. But, i don’t think I do now.
Free Website Traffic
March 2nd, 2010 5:51 pm
Very good post. Personally I don’t really have a blogging community it is more of a webmaster community since I have a few blogs, websites, and forums. Still the point remains that making it online is very hard when you are doing it by yourself. It is important to guest post and be mentioned by other people. My favorite networking site is twitter @kris_beus I also like facebook (because it is where I got my first guest post).
Kris,
Samantha Milner
March 2nd, 2010 9:30 pm
Thanks Jenny
i really enjoyed your post today. Thanks for the advice.
kind regards
sam
X
abercrombie milano
March 2nd, 2010 9:42 pm
I thought I was blogging for myself and to hear myself speak. But then I got comments and I visited other sites and I found the most amazing sense of community and support. It is amazing. And unexpected. I love it
Jenny
March 2nd, 2010 11:35 pm
@Pbarbanes – Thanks so much for the comment and the tweets! That is probably the biggest compliment you could have given. I love me some Ellen! So glad we met up recently.. learning a lot from your articles so far and I’m looking forward to hopefully working with you on the non-profit social media stuff in the area!
@Andi – Good to hear!
@Leigh – I’m glad this made sense to you. To me, it really just seems like the most logical strategy to surround yourself with people who either share similar interests or offer a new way of looking at life. There are plenty of spammers, what we need is more authentic communication.
@Sarah – Welcome to the blogging world and I’m happy that this resonated enough to jump start your community efforts. It’s tough to really know what to do with comments at first.. but once you get used to replying and building relationships, it’s definitely a lot of fun. This coming from a true introvert. haha
Jenny
March 2nd, 2010 11:39 pm
@aglolink – Thanks for reading – glad you enjoyed!
@Tim – Dads just have a way of always being right, don’t they?
@Lena – Thanks!
@ John – Whoa, I don’t think I’ve ever made a cork board. Can I get a picture of that? haha
@Crisis Maven – Couldn’t agree more. Sure saves a lot of money when you can connect continents just by writing a blog post or logging in to Twitter.
@Avil – Sounds like you have a great strategy! Not sure about you, but it actually pains me to try and comment on something I just am not interested in. Even if someone comments on my blog, if I don’t see a post I really want to discuss, I’ll just check back later.
CRAIGAGRANOFF
March 3rd, 2010 12:44 am
Jenny,
Great article, and I am so happy to see you here! What a nice surprise!
Craig
worstpizza.com
Anne
March 3rd, 2010 5:49 am
I really enjoyed reading this post Jenny, and mostly because it really is so relate-able. Sometimes a mountain doesn’t need to be a mountain yet we make it so… at least I know I do. Finding the right people (goes back to quality vs quantity I suppose) can make a difference I am sure. Just changing the focus a bit I think will help me out a lot. thanks for the advice :)
Christina Sponias
March 3rd, 2010 9:56 am
Thank you for your answer, Jenny! Forgive me, but I saw only later that this was your post, and I could not correct my comment… Your opinion is very important too. I´m going to look for bloggers that may want to exchange posts, but the point is that I´ll have to waste a lot of time looking for the right person. I thought that perhaps there was a website where we could easily find bloggers that want to exchange posts, links, etc, and we could go directly there looking for them…
Forgive me also if my idea is outdated or something like that – I´m only a turist at this blog; even though each time I come here I decide that I have to come back often, my activities and the lack of time make me forget this decision…
Dante Cullari
March 3rd, 2010 6:22 pm
That was a really great post. Finding relationships that matter is awesome advice for a blogger, or anyone trying to promote themselves. I actually just changed the name of my blog to encompass a new writing style that is not as informative as I usually am, but actually keeps people up to date with the progress of my business, which is an alternative to labels for independent artists so make money from their music and distribute it widely while maintaining all rights. I want to keep every user on the same page with the decisions we are making, in an effort to stay transparent. I believe the connections you make with your readers, or users (artists in my case) is a crucial one that one cannot be fully successful without.
Thanks for the inspirational advice. That’s what I needed. Check out my blog if you have time and tell me what you think!
Vickens M
March 4th, 2010 4:15 am
Thanks for the great blog and info. Id love if you could guest write on my blog and critique it so I can make it better.
Living with Balls
March 4th, 2010 9:36 am
Great post Jenny. I’ve been blogging for about six months. For the first couple months I ignored trying to network with other blogs. Then I finally gave it a try and there is definitely a huge benefit to doing so.
Robert Ring
March 4th, 2010 2:55 pm
I feel kind of the way you originally felt. I know it’s good to comment on blogs, etc., but I often am so focused on creating my own content that I don’t give myself time to peruse other people’s work. This is despite the fact that the first time I did leave a comment on someone else’s blog, the writer almost immediately contacted me telling me how much he loves my site and asking to pay to place a banner for his blog on my pages.
I do comment from time to time, but I simply tend to forget. In my experience, you’re correct that the more genuine comments are the best way to go, and that is the way I always approach it, but, again, I’m always so focused on me, me, me, that I often don’t even think about taking the time to comment.
Definitely something to work on.
Phil
March 5th, 2010 3:54 am
I don’t know exactly how I ended up in problogger.com today (well I don’t know how many random links and pages took me to get here), but I do know that I love this post.
I can relate to your experience because I started my blog about a week ago but have been thinking about creating one a long time ago… When you create something that’s yours and something so personal you can only hope people to read it, to love it and also to create meaningful experiences with others (and why not make a living out of it). It’s the thrill, the excitement and the true passion what leads you to keep posting quality material (god knows how happy I got when I got my first comment and follower).
Hope my experience ends up being as good as yours, keep doing such a great job!
Phil http://mysocalledvidamoderna.blogspot.com/
abercrombie milano
March 5th, 2010 5:58 am
, I made my first real comment and within hours the twitchy giant responded and commented on my most recent post. Josh was the first person outside of my inner circle of obligation to comment on my blog; and while his thoughts on the Cupid Shuffle were not life-changing, his quick, genuine response did force a beautiful paradigm shift in my head.
wow, that’s impressive!
WAHGO
March 5th, 2010 10:03 am
Write about what you love and it is easy.
Write for those that will read it.
Write because you know how important fresh, unique content is to the web and you know without the spiders finding that content, no human is going to accidentally end up on your blog or website.
Write because you want to!
Christina Sponias
March 5th, 2010 1:53 pm
Nothing is that simple… You may write because you want to, but who is going to read it?
I was thinking a lot about what Jenny suggests after reading this blog post.
In order to have a business relationship with another blogger, I´ll have to find the kind of blog that gives information that could fit with the information I´m giving, and then read their blog posts, leave my comments, appear there frequently, etc. This is how we build a relationship…
I have to prepare a better plan… And mainly, act!
I´m glad because each time I come here (like a turist who reads a few things and leaves…) I always learn something important. This is why I decide to often come back here each time I visit this blog…
Jenny
March 6th, 2010 12:22 pm
@Craig – Thanks! Good to see you here as well. Fun to see some familiar names among all the fun new people on here.
Jenny
March 6th, 2010 12:26 pm
@Christina – I think that in addition to writing because you want to, you need to provide value if you want people to read. I haven’t been to your blog yet, so maybe you’re already doing that, but in my opinion, blogging success (as I’ve noticed from the folks at the top) is usually the derivative of someone writing about something they really love AND something that either informs/entertains/or makes people think.
Jenny
March 6th, 2010 12:27 pm
@Phil – Thanks for the kind words. I was all excited to check out your site after I read your comment… but I see I may need the help of a translation site to enjoy it, haha.
Christina Sponias
March 6th, 2010 1:15 pm
I totally agree with you, Jenny! I´ve read many things that don´t help whoever reads them in any way.
Why should someone read something that doesn´t give them anything back?
I don´t mean that all authors must always inform, educate or entertain their readers.
We can help many people with our words in many ways if we know what we are talking about, and if we have a purpose.
However, there are many people online writing and writing, while their words are totally empty… I believe that if someone doesn´t have any knowledge or talent, they have to learn something, research, and find what to present to the public, before daring to post publicly whatever they wish to.
I think that if you want to write about your personal life, your thoughts and your opinion, you must be a writer, and have the talent to make simple things seem to be very special, otherwise you are not going to present anything meaningful to the public.
About my blog, I don´t know if this is OK to post its url here, because I rarely have the time to visit this blog… It could be considered spam or something. But I can assure you that my work is very serious, and the knowledge I give to the public is precious.
However, I don´t have the necessary connections… the topic of your article. I´m alone, and I´m not in the US, I´m in Europe… And when I think about reading the blog posts of other bloggers, I think “when will I have time for that too?”
All extraordinary plans are always smashed by the cruel reality full of impossibilities… But we have to be heroes, and find time for everything.
Thank you Jenny, for your excellent advice! I will follow it like a good student, because each time I do what I learn here I see positive results without a doubt. This blog is really fantastic! This is why it is so famous. I always come here after finding a link to problogger into a forum or another blog… because its links are everywhere!
Mark A
March 22nd, 2010 2:22 pm
Great article. Great tips.
I’m in law school right now and I’m hoping that I won’t ever have to be a lawyer (if that makes sense), so I can completely relate to the “making a buck your own way” philosophy. My student loans tend to steer me away from that dream, but one could always hope.
It’s difficult, for me, to overcome the stigma that comes from telling people that I write a “blog” (Cue “Oh, isn’t that cute” face). I find myself telling my friends it’s a “website” for some reason.
Anyway, thanks again. The article made me feel less alone in this sea of opinion. Keep it up.
Back to god-awful statutes. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Визитки
March 27th, 2010 10:58 pm
The first thing that really struck me about your article is how entirely I agree with the sentiment of NOT commenting just to comment. To me that is a waste of time.
But commenting to build relationships, now that makes sense. Thank you for the links and techniques your provide for this as well.
I love, also, how you perfectly illustrate the next step of what building these relationships mean. You mention them on your Problogger article.
It’s interesting watching how groups of people form and work together through blogging, Twitter and the rest.
Wonderful to meet you. I look forward to reading more.
Jordon Shambaugh
April 25th, 2010 1:01 am
Thanks a bunch I really enjoyed reading this. It makes me want to start my own blog! Just what topic though? I am a dentist by profession but cannot imagine most people wanting to read about dentistry? Maybe I am wrong! Jordon Shambaugh
Robert Ring
April 25th, 2010 1:05 pm
Jordon,
Write for an audience of other dentists. If you have a lot of experience, relay it to them. That would seem like something other dentists could certainly use.
mike@DJ Production
May 16th, 2010 1:06 pm
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Electric Guitars For Kids
May 26th, 2010 9:37 pm
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