Comments on: Dear FaceBook Friends, I’m De-Friending Most of You [It's Not You, It's Me]

By: ZAREMA

ZAREMA — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 13:16:01 +0000

Thanks the author for article. The main thing do not forget about users, and continue in the same spirit.

By: Joe Jonson

Joe Jonson — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 15:17:40 +0000

Interesting post reminds me of another gem. – Always do right – this will gratify some and astonish the rest. – Mark Twain 1835 – 1910

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 13:05:25 +0000

Very sensible idea. It’s particularly so now that Facebook has made the idiotic decision that all ‘friends’ can see each other’s friends list. They talk about FB being a platform for social networking but never seem to consider that online relationships, just like those in real life, have different levels, and people run their lives in different compartments. It’s now got to the point that I will be having different accounts for business, personal acquaintances, and close friends. Of course, I wouldn’t have to do that if the people behind FB would stop digging their heels in and let us allow people to see exactly what we want them to see and no more, either by themselves or via other people whose relationship is closer to us.

By: Layne

Layne — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 19:43:18 +0000

Hi Darren,
Very good idea. After all, you have already created pages exclusively for your blogs, why not have one that is exclusive to your actual friends and family. When I come home from work, that’s it, I leave work at work. What you would express to close friends and family wouldn’t be the same as what you would want your general readers to be privy about. So good for you. Now you will have your own private space to keep up with your personal relationships. Those are the most important relationships.

Kudos.
-Layne

By: Anna Savoy

Anna Savoy — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:46:26 +0000

I’ve been vacillating back and forth on this. I need a more professional page, and a separate personal page. I don’t need my college age kids asking for money in the same thread as associates and I are discussing industry issues, you know? I’ve been wondering how to…handle the announcement. Whew! Thanks for this. I’m glad there are others.

By: Jules

Jules — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:00:30 +0000

I am so glad to read this. I have never made my facebook page public for the very reasons you have shared. I just finished a course and have read several posts and books where the opposite is encouraged (make it all public) and it never sat well with me. I’m glad I followed my instincts on this one.

Best of luck with your more personal FB account. I’m sure you will much prefer it over the previous one.

By: Guillaume

Guillaume — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:46:06 +0000

As I see on facebook, you could create a Fan Page separate of your personnal account. The WordPress page has 56881 fans. This could be a solution, having personnal contacts on you own page, and create a Problogger one.

By: Lis Sowerbutts

Lis Sowerbutts — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:30:00 +0000

Thanks Darren – you’ve pointed out a solution for me – I am nowhere near 5000 friends but I do have an unholy mixture of real world friends – who are usually more into dancing than making online and my evil friends in the MMO online – this is a cool solution and I am going to implement it – thanks!

By: Krista

Krista — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:01:18 +0000

Your post struck a chord and Facebook has been much more tolerable & enjoyable after removing almost 400 people I didn’t know. I think FB fan pages & Twitter are the perfect meeting places for those contacts. Love them, but everyone in one place can be plain overwhelming. Thanks for posting.

By: Pamela Price

Pamela Price — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:29:58 +0000

I’ve shared this post with others because I think it’s the start of a BIG trend, especially now that the pages appear in the news feed. Having made a similar switch myself–though I didn’t so much “de-friend” as stop accepting friend requests from unknown folks, it’s a big relief to know the boundaries are set.

@redwhiteandgrew

By: Bobbi Newman

Bobbi Newman — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:29:50 +0000

I’ve been toying with this idea for about a year. I keep running into this snag, what about my online friends? The ones I really do interact with and would probably have dinner or beer with if we were in the same town? If I make those cuts based strictly on feelings some will stay & some will go & I worry about hurt feelings. How did you decide who made the cut? Was there backlash?

By: Stefan Martens

Stefan Martens — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 05:14:55 +0000

Darren,

Funny to read this – Sascha Lobo, a more or less famous guy in German did the same just recently when he reached the 5.000 friends mark.

He offered his friends to become his “fan” which he translated to “Friend auf Netzwerk” which is (obviously ;)) German for “Friend on Network”.

I liked this approach. He startet a dialogue on his blog, announcing this decision thereby facilitating the transition for his friends aka fans.

Another, very important thing, that lots and lots of people seem to forget:

There are excellent privacy settings on Facebook!

Sounds weird huh?

But:

You can actually control which of your friends can SEE your status updates, etc.

Just to give an example:

I put everyone of my friends into lists. I got around 250 friends and put something like 20 of them to my “close friends” list. If I wanna share something personal I just send it to them. 20 is probably not the number of really close friends as defined by real life, but it really helps!

What do you think of the list workaround?

Cheers,
Stefan

By: Rob Gokee

Rob Gokee — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 19:43:36 +0000

I’m doing the same thing this afternoon. It’s time for a purge.

By: Liss

Liss — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:06:42 +0000

I completely understand and it is something I’ve been torn about for awhile, whether to accept blogging friends who I dont know in real life as facebook friends or make a page. Also I dont want to spam my real life friends who dont read blogs with my blog updates….

By: IPBrian

IPBrian — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:41:34 +0000

I figure twitter and Facebook fan pages are for business and Facebook proper is for your close friends, family, high school chums, etc. Good that you were transparent about the whole thing, but I cant say anyone will really blame you for the change.

By: Paid Directories

Paid Directories — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 12:12:39 +0000

Facebook is great. But i dont use it right now. Use facebook groups for random people, and for people who are your friends should be in your inner circle. Facebook is great for getting links, and traffic.

By: Gillian

Gillian — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:48:54 +0000

I feel your pain! I had to make a similar move when I was managing a Facebook account for a media personality. At first, she wanted to accept friend requests from her fans. It soon got out of control, and I had to go unfriend everyone she didn’t know. It was a nightmare! I think most people will understand why you had to do what you did. You might want to funnel people to your Fan page instead and change your privacy settings so that you are invisible. Then you can friend people you know without having to reject people you don’t, and you have total control. That’s what those tools are there for.

By: ZenDarb

ZenDarb — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:05:58 +0000

I just did the same thing – de-friended all “friends” that had anything to do with my job and made Facebook much more personal.

Work can be like Kudzu and overtake your life. Hit it with napalm!

By: nokia tema

nokia tema — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:36:39 +0000

good move Darren ;)

By: Bill Sterling

Bill Sterling — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:56:40 +0000

Good for you. It’s called boundary setting and is very healthy. Bill Sterling