Comments on: Fair Fighting Rules

By: self esteem wizard

self esteem wizard — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 17:46:12 +0000

Great list. I agree that active listening can have a huge impact on any relationship. In our society everybody wants to talk. A person who’s listening is a rare treasure nowadays.
Just try to listen in any party to others, be sensitive and passionate about their “problems” and you will be the person who everybody goes to.
Don’t blame yourself and others. We all have our flaws and mistakes, but without them we wouldn’t call our existence life, right?

By: Minoraz

Minoraz — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 03:24:54 +0000

A very good list, although I think it needs a little adaptation with regards to online conflict between bloggers. Thanks! :o)

By: Carla

Carla — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 01:03:12 +0000

Excellent post! The best point: # Don’t expect your partner to read your mind and # Don’t Blame. We usually expect other people to read our mind and we keep blaiming because we are not assertive enough to stand up for ourselves.

By: robert’s blog » fighting fair

robert’s blog » fighting fair — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 21:31:08 +0000

[...] i saw this on problogger via lifehacker and i wanted to keep it around somewhere. this seemed like as good of a spot as any to archive this thing. [...]

By: aadil

aadil — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 09:38:50 +0000

Funny, I normally resolve conflicts by engaging the person in an arm wrestling challenge. ;)

By: Robyn Tippins

Robyn Tippins — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 03:24:52 +0000

Writing is such great therapy Darren. I wrote an associated content article months ago after an arguement with my husband. Helped me alot!

I agree with your post, can’t even pick out a favorite. I think the main thing to remember is that you can’t take stuff personally (and you have to talk like the person is going to take it personally). You argue, cry, stomp off and then there’s still kids to be fed and jobs to go to so you apologize and forgive and get on with life.

This is still the person you value above any other and you just get over your own pettiness. The cool thing is that passionate arguements actually break down barriers and make you closer and better communicators. So, maybe it’s good to fight :)

By: 公平对抗原则 » 生活帮-LifeBang

公平对抗原则 » 生活帮-LifeBang — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 13:50:06 +0000

[...] “公平对抗原则”－来自problogger [...]

By: mikelohi

mikelohi — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 10:02:55 +0000

Be prepared to walk away if you or the other person cannot abide by the rules listed above.

When you are calm, analyze what you heard.
What set this off?
Is it true?
Does it matter?
What are you willing to do to solve the conflict?
What are you not willing to do?

By: its about time» Blog Archive » Fairness is not an attitude…

its about time» Blog Archive » Fairness is not an attitude… — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 23:00:13 +0000

[...] In the interest of promoting more niceness, especially in the comments section of my blog: Fair Fighting Rules [...]

By: philos

philos — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:42:26 +0000

Perfect timing!
I just had a quarrel with my boss!
Your advices are extremely helpful, if you study them in depth and be calm!

By: ivan

ivan — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:07:03 +0000

DONT KICK EACHOTHER IN THE BALLS

By: Lifehacker

Lifehacker — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 18:30:22 +0000

15 rules for fighting fair…

The ProBlogger weblog lists 15 rules to stick to in order to keep your fights fair. For example, the first five: Know what you’re fighting about Stick to one subject only Be direct – say how you feel, say what……

By: Stephen W.

Stephen W. — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 15:33:08 +0000

A very good list, although I think it needs a little adaptation with regards to online conflict between bloggers. For example, “Don’t read your partner’s mind” and “Don’t expect your partner to read your mind” are all good and well, but most blogger conflicts don’t happen face-to-face or even in a single timeframe.

No, blogger conflicts most often occur as chunks of text over a period of hours, day, or weeks (I’d hate to meet a pair of bloggers who can feud for months). Thus, it might be better to phrase these items as, “Don’t try to infer tone” and “Don’t expect your partner to infer your tone.” I’ve had a number of online communications that didn’t turn out well because the person with whom I was communicating thought I “sounded” angry even though I wasn’t. Except through emoticons, tone doesn’t effectively translate to text, which can lead to conflict. Inferences such as this should be avoided to ensure a good fight.

By: Innovation Zen

Innovation Zen — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 10:23:10 +0000

Off topic question.

Are you still using Technorati tags on each and every post?

By: John Evans (Syntagma)

John Evans (Syntagma) — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 09:21:56 +0000

16. Don’t attack what you’ve previously supported.

By: chiyou

chiyou — Sat, 16 Sep 2006 01:41:53 +0000

ah Learn many things